Monday, April 8, 2019

Now! The time is Now... We must stop holding ourselves back

I am hearing, "I'll be happy when...", "My life will be better when...", "I'm going to start when..." or the best is what I tell myself "I didn't do that? Well, I will start tomorrow". The only problem is that Today is  the old Tomorrow.

We have those friends, family, children, most of us look to the future. That absolutely has its purpose when setting short or long term goals. We have something to set the eyes on, push us forward, motivate us, that is all the good stuff. That is not what I am speaking to.

I'll use a self example I have been meaning to clean up my nutrition and shift my physical activity. At the end of each day the mind takes inventory of the day. It's  may be subtle, some of us may notice it more than others. The  Mind replays the day in the mind figuring out what got done, what didn't, then assesses. So at the end of my day, I'd let out a sigh, feeling somewhat defeated from not following through on the intention set the previous day. The mind shifts again. New thoughts, "no problem I can start tomorrow", it thinks. Restored to calm, everything is okay.

Both my mother (59 yrs old) and my father(62 yrs old) passed quickly unexpectedly. My loss though huge there was something I took away. Today is now Tomorrow and will soon be Yesterday. So how do we get ourselves unstuck if we are in this repeating pattern? We set out each day with the best of intention to write those books, set aside time for ourselves, increase or Meditation, eat better, workout better or whatever it is for each one of us. The trick may be in a few things:


  • Mindset
  • Energy Management
  • Being Fully Present

Let's break that down, all of those trendy words that seem to have deep meaning but the mind sometimes struggles with.


Mindset

How much do you want what you want? I hear myself, the mind say so often I want to be in great shape this Summer. Not for necessarily the typical reasons, my reasons are more for the different types of physical activities I do. Still having several kids at home, they want to bike, hike, Kayak, SUP, boat and things like that. Being 47 now, my body isn't performing like it was when it was 20. It shouldn't because it's not 20. Setting realistic expectations for ourselves is big. Many times I start to feel defeated at the beginning of my day. The realization of all of the little stuff in life. Things I say to myself such as "I'm getting old...", "My body just doesn't look the same..." things like that. Self defeating thoughts before I have even gotten started?! How could my day be successful? And trust me there are other stories that the mind tells itself like "Maybe that's not a good idea...", "You'll be ready when...". The mind will replay stories in our head based on childhood patterns, old relationships, old experiences until those stories are quieted. These stories can also make us reluctant, pull us out when we are starting new things telling us, we can't, it won't and other negative stories. Learning to shift, release, silence these stories change our patterns, our Mindset. The time is Now to meet yourself wherever you are, surrender to what was or what could be.  Fall in love with ourselves, showing up for ourselves,  showing compassion, moving forward with grace.

Energy Management

If you read my last Blog this isn't a surprise that we are revisiting this subject. To keep it short and sweet if we are over extending ourselves there isn't time for anything much less everything. Prioritize what's really important and keep that focus. Anyone can do anything, no one can do everything. Be gentle with your load. Give the time you need to yourself, connect to self Now.

Being Fully Present

I speak to this often, first let's break down the basics of the mind. We have an approximately 60,000 thoughts per day. Out of that 60,000 much of it is just the same stories repeated. What are stories, they are patterns from the past. Some of those thoughts are projections forward such as " Next Tuesday I have to go... soI am going to need to do...".  Based on the study of Psychology, we have a 3 second present. Everything before or after that 3 seconds is past or future within the mind. That being said, stay present. When the mind travels to the past, bringing ourselves back to Now, staying present. When the mind wants to travel to the future, bring ourselves back to Now, staying present. Plan when we  need to plan, revisit when needed to recall facts but working on staying present to remove the needless old stories that no longer serve us and the anxiety of the future from needless projection. Stay here, be with, commit to each and every moment, living fully present Now.

Two things that have landed for me were things I heard growing up, but never understood. "Que Sera, Sera", it means whatever will be, will be. My grandmother used to sing that to me alot as I was a child always projecting into the future. Trying to rid myself of the present. Later my mother would tell me "If it doesn't matter in a week, it doesn't matter", as I was an adult woman who worried about everything. Work on being Present first then when needing to recall the past or project into the future  it is done with grace.

The time is Now to stop holding ourselves back. The time is Now to start what was supposed to be started. The time is Now, to show ourselves love and compassion, to show up fully for ourselves.  The time is Now to stay steadfast in keeping our word to ourselves. The time is Now to walk away from unhealthy relationships, jobs,  things that no longer serve us. The time is Now to start all that we said we'd start. The time is Now to go outside and connect to nature, to remove stress from our lives. The time is Now to follow our dreams, live more intuitively, find what we are seeking. The time is Now to be so in love with ourselves that the harsh self talk faders to nothing. The time is Now for forgiveness towards others but mostly ourselves. The time is Now, for Today is now Tomorrow, soon Today will just be another Yesterday. The time is Now.


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